Stuff We Rike #7 Collecting Things

After scouring the aisles of our local grocery store and waiting in the check out line, the grocery bagger usually asks whether we prefer paper or plastic. With the increasing attention being paid to the environment the answer has increasingly become paper. This however is not the case for Asians. The green movement be damned, Asians always want plastic bags, and maybe even extra ones because us Asians, we just like to collect things too much.

Everybody likes a bargain and everybody loves free giveaways but Asians have a propensity to value free at an unmatched level. Trips to fast food restaurants are actually thinly veiled excuses for Asians to hoard ketchup packets, salt and pepper packets, napkins, and plastic silverware for absolutely no reason but to have them at our disposal. Asians are genetically predispositioned to grab every individually wrapped knife and fork set even though they prefer to eat with chopsticks. Rarely are these gathered materials ever put into use as their utility is solely gathered from their acquisition and not their usage. In fact most Asians have a drawer, closet, or shelf for these collected objects to rest at. Knowing that they have a stash of condiments, disposable eating utensils and plastic bags in a safe and secure place in the back of our minds gives Asians a unique pleasure that is all our own. It would be one thing if these stashed items were put into use; well they are never used. You know how dogs bury random objects in the backyard with no intention of ever digging them back up in the future? Well that's how Asians are like with ketchup packets.

In fact the Asian love of scouring fast food joints for excess condiments is probably the sole reason why fast food chains now charge extra for barbecue sauce, sweet and sour sauce, or any other dipping sauces. Actually now that I think about it, Asians are probably the reason why McDonalds moved away from the easy access napkin dispensers to the vertical stack napkin dispensers that force you to take one napkin at a time. These are just a few steps the fast food industry have taken to Asian proof their restaurants.

The fast food industry is not the only industry that has been severely affected by the Asian predisposition to collect small free objects. The hospitality industry and the hotels of the world have had their coffers raided for their miniature shampoo, conditioner, and cheap bar soap for years now. In fact most Asians will take a shower with their own shampoo and conditioner just so that they can take home the 2oz bottles of shampoo home for future non usage. The more brazen of the Asian contingent will even progress to hoarding shower caps, cheap three inch long toothbrushes, and disposable sewing kits despite having a near zero chance of ever using these items in the near or distant future.

Now some of you may be thinking to yourselves that this phenomenon is solely represented by the Asian mother cohort and you are only partially correct. Younger Asians are also trained to collect things from a young age in order to carry on the Asian tradition of hoarding unnecessary goods. A prime example of this is Pokemon whose slogan is "Gotta Catchem All!" Why do you think that Asians were so drawn to Pokemon? It's because they love to collect things; even if they are fictional yellow rats that have the ability to shoot electricity out of its cheeks. While others try to get through the game, Asians want to not only get through the game, they indeed want to catch them all.

I have to admit. I did collect them all when I was a kid. I even had to trade between the red and the blue cartridge to get them them all. I do not know whether or not to be proud of myself.