ObserAsian #3 Asian Themed Tattoos

As society has become increasingly progressive, tattoos have made their way towards mainstream acceptance. Tattoos throughout the years have been become increasingly popular and the overall increased prominence of tattoos has also led to the increase in the number of Asian themed tattoos taking up body real estate. I am going to offer a breakdown of these said Asian themed tattoos.

There are two main subgroups of Asian tattoos: the Asian character tattoo and the dragon/ phoenix / tiger / koi tattoo.

The most prominent Asian themed tattoo is the Asian character tattoo. Who cares if you cannot read it? Just the fact that you know that everybody you come into contact with will ask you what your tattoo stands for is cool enough. For better or worse, Asian character tattoos are instant conversation starters. I have one question for anybody who is contemplating getting an Asian character tattoo. Do you really want to give godlike power to your tattoo artist and entrust their knowledge of the respective Asian language your character/ characters is from; especially when most tattoo artists look like this guy:

I know they tell you to never judge a book by its cover. But I'll be damned, I'm judging.

I do not have an Asian character tattoo, but can imagine how the train of thought of one who has an Asian character tattoo might resemble in male and female version.

Male Version:

Hmm... I really want a tattoo.

I want my tattoo to be bad ass.

I've been working out for a long time.

My tattoo needs to emphasize how strong I've become.

Ehh... maybe I'll get a tribal armband.

Never mind. Tribal armband = douche.

Well I still want to emphasize how strong I am, I'm so powerful.

Maybe, I'll get power tattooed on my arm.

That's stupid, I'll get the Asian character for power on my arm instead.

I really hope this means power.

Whatever, even if it doesn't, I'll tell everybody it does.

Female Version:

Hmm... I really want a tattoo.

I want my tattoo to be sexy.

I've been doing the elliptical for a long time.

My tattoo needs to emphasize femininity and sexiness.

It also needs to mean something to me.

Love means something to me.

It can't be trashy though.

Maybe I'll get a lower back tattoo.

Wait... people call those tramp stamps. I can't get one of those.

But love really means something to me.

I can't get love tattooed on my lower back.

I'll just get the Asian character for love instead, people will think I'm deep.

Do you think they'll still call it a tramp stamp?

Whatever... I've been running on the elliptical for a long time, I deserve this.

The other large subset of Asian themed tattoos are made up of tiger, phoenix, dragon or koi tattoos. These tattoos in their most prominent application typically cover a large portion of the body, are extremely elaborate, and are great at compensating for a lack of toughness. Anybody who is willing to subject themselves to four tattoo sessions for a tattoo that covers 70% of any given body part must be tough. It does not matter that this is 70% of a body that usually weighs between 130-170 pounds. The only notable exceptions to this rule are members of the Triad or Manny Pacquiao. They are an intimidating bunch, and are free to tattoo whatever they want wherever they want without repercussion or having their manliness put into question.

And if you're contemplating an Asian tattoo I present you with this infamous tattoo. He thought it was a phonetic translation of his name, Mitchell. It actually means "Rice Covered Balls." Something tells me that is not what he intended for.

Fail. In fact, epic fail.