Stuff We Rike #2 Squatting

Humans as a species have a tendency to emphasize the importance of comfort; when in doubt comfort trumps all. Asians are unlike most humans however, we have a distinct desire to position ourselves as close to the ground as we possibly can. The practicality of this may be questioned but there is no doubt that Asians love to squat.

The origins of squatting and specifically Asian squatting as a cultural phenomenon are unknown. Many experts have traced the act of squatting back to the days of having to take care of bodily functions in trenches and thus the necessity of staying low to ground to avoid collateral damage. Seeing as how it is now the year 2009 and technology has advanced exponentially, Asian countries no longer need to depend on troughs. I present you a modern Asian toilet, with its no frills approach.

Much has changed from dirt holes in the ground. We now have metal holes in the ground with appropriate floor markings for the most ergonomic and efficient foot placement for squatting efficiency.

Now that we have explored why squatting exists for practicality reasons it is necessary to tackle why there are so many Asians who squat for purposes that have nothing to do with bathroom activities. Through my completely unscientific observations these are the situations in which Asians are most likely to be squatting from least to most likely excluding the aforementioned bathroom situations:

5) Waiting for something whether it be public transportation or somebody else.

4) Eating (probably something with rice).

3) Smoking.

2) Eating and Smoking at the same time.

1). For absolutely no reason but to squat.

You would also assume that for all the squatting prowess that Asians possess that there would be an influx of Asians in activities that require a lot of squatting namely catching. If you scour the rosters of Major League Baseball however, there is only one Asian catcher of note, Kenji Johjima.

One of the greatest benefits of squatting is the resulting lack of need to have benches in public spaces. Why waste the resources to erect potential tripping hazards and extreme sport obstacles when people can gleefully squat in place instead. I am very curious to know what would occur if there were a bench made for 3 people and there were 5 experienced squatters. Would they all squat together? Would 3 people sit down and 2 squat? Would none of them squat? If anybody knows the answer or even better has photo evidence, I am throroughly intrigued.

Before classifying all Asians as the squatting type, I must also point out that the more recent an Asian has contact with mainland Asia or mainland Asians, the more likely they are to partake in squatting. Let me introduce the Exposure to Mainlanders to Squatting Relationship. As the chart below clearly demonstrates beyond a reasonable doubt there is a 1:1 positive correlation between mainlander exposure and propensity to squat. This therefore excludes many 2nd generation and further Asians from being frequent squatters. This also explains the extremely high number of Asian people seen squatting in neighborhoods populated by a lot of newer immigrants.